Hot Sauce That's Hotter Than Your Girlfriend

So I think I'll begin today's blog with a riddle..... Good luck!

A young man walks into a public restroom. Realizing he's alone, and wanting to preserve his privacy should another enter, he decides it wise to step up to the furthest most urinal in the restroom. Standing there between those sea foam green dividers he looks down in preparation for the unzipping. In doing so he catches a view of the stall floor next to him. Expecting to see nothing more than a set of ankles with pants bunched up around them, he's suddenly startled. There, lying on the cold tile of that stall floor, face down, eyes closed, mouth bleeding and motionless.... is a teenage boy.

What happened?......... Any ideas? Give up?

Okay, so here's the story. A few weeks back my companion and I decided we'd head out to Buffalo and spend our preparation day with the elders out there. Prior to this trip I'd heard some buzz about this "special" hot sauce all the missionaries out there had been eating and that upon our arrival we'd have the opportunity of trying it as well. So that morning we show up at the Buffalo chapel and sure enough, first thing we're invited to do is try the hot sauce.

Deity, Devils and Donkey Kong: The Blog

How could this situation become any more distracting? We're 10 minutes into this class, the kid next to me is snoring, the girl in front of me is far more interested in studying her crush's "summer 2010" Facebook album than biology, I just can't seem to quit staring at the giant booger dangling from the professor's nose, and I'm still wondering why on earth there's a kid in the back row wearing a banana suit and a giant cardboard box, the letters DK written across it, sitting in the front corner.

When you're a 19 year, old attention defunct student, preparing for an upcoming final is nearly impossible in an environment such as this. And when that mystery DK box suddenly starts rumbling you can just about kiss learning goodbye. Next thing i know my once slumbering neighbor is wide awake, the Facebook stalker on the front row is screaming and that dangling booger is hanging on for its dear life as my professor whips his head around to see what all the commotion is.

Sprinting up one aisle I see a giant, tie clad gorilla and down the other runs the screaming banana from the back row. Laughter echoes throughout the room and for most, the remainder of that class time is spent texting, tweeting and status updating over the hilarious prank we had just witnessed. Along with DK's exit went the focus and opportunity for preparation of 100+ students....

I left on a mission at age 23, a bit later than the expected departure of a typical LDS missionary. Growing up the plan was always to serve a mission at 19, but when the time came, so did more and more distractions. For years I allowed the metaphorical Facebooking blondes, dangling boogers and sprinting apes distract me from this amazing opportunity of eternal preparation. Most of those distractions weren't even things that were sinful or wrong, but all the same kept me from where my Father in Heaven wanted me to be.

What opportunities of spiritual growth and preparation have the Donkey Kongs in our lives kept us from? Preparation is our purpose! "this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God!" The Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ is the plan and the time is now! "The day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors." Eliminate the distractions, study the plan, and prepare!

Deity, Devils and Donkey Kong

Funny, right? Well what does it teach us about the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ? New post coming soon.....

American Idol Rejects and the Atonement of Jesus Christ

Which of the following doesn't belong?

A. Kelly Clarkson

B. David Archuleta

C. Carrie Underwood
D. Adam Lambert
E. Chris Nicholes

Well if you have eyes, ears, a television set, a sliver of pop culture knowledge and half a brain then I'm sure option E looked a little off at first glance. I'll admit, tickets for "Chris Nicholes Nationwide Tour: Coming to a Shower Near You" haven't been in very high demand as of late. However, there is one thing that I do have in common with each of the above named superstars.... We've all participated in an American Idol audition.

Stop, Drop and Roll Won't Work in Hell

"He's on fire!" A phrase you love to hear while witting on that comfy chair in the living room, watching Jimmer drop point after point on the opponent.

"He's on fire!" A phrase you hope to never hear while watching a friend frantically roll from side to side on the kitchen floor, while screaming at the top of his lungs.

So what's the story here and what's it got to do with the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ?